tukar fikiran :)

oh ya....tukar fikiran lagi.

semalaman aku tak boleh tidur memikirkan perasaan aku ne macmana ke dia?..tak boleh tidur smpai masuk2 mimpi suda...aduh~!/dia tak kecewakan aku pun..aku yg fikir byk sgt..so maybe aku yg tak READY lagi...dia pun juga..dua2 tak ready so..aku tukar fkiran dan perasaan...aku sendiri takut aku tak mampu jadi og yg betul2 baik untuk dia...nnti aku akan dgr komplain yg sama.hahaha

&&

blog ini betul2 jadi teman baik aku untuk meluahkan perasaan..terima kasih blog..I love you!

:)

btw,da ada TUMBLR. click here

jgn risau semua org,sy masih active kat blog ini. :)

apa elle?

Now, I'm giving myself a chance to fall in LOVE again.

I keep on asking myself,am I ready to be in a relationship now?.I'm not sure..it's up to that person to show me how determine he is.if you know what I mean//I'm just waiting for the effort.how much you want me.is that too much?. 

I know exactly how Bella's feel when Edward left her...felt like there's a big hole in your heart and cannot explain how unbearable the pain is...sgt2 sakit you know.I cannot imagine myself anymore when suddenly the person I loved so much told me that he was no longer have the feelings for me,and left me heartbroken...then,again I was willing to let go of him just because I wanted to see him happy.well,that was what he said.that I couldn't took care of him,i wasn't good enough for him or maybe that woman[ouh scrammmm u old woman] knows how to take care of him better than me.but that's not the point.Traumatize by the experience made me feel that men were just the same.but now,I try to convince myself,there are still some good guys out there.whom I really want to be with.I am hoping that you will take care of me okay,baby?.if only you're 19 above.I would definitely and completely in love with you.but why age has to do with it?.because I think I really2 in LOVE with you now.taylor launer :)

but now, I'm confuse.And I'm regret the things I've done.especially the message that I sent...what was I thinking?why did I say those things anyway?......Omg!!! 

*malu!!*

mood:confuse dan malu [??]

itunes:For you I will by Teddy Geiger

&& i'm going to have my own TUMBLR very soon aite...so I tell you guys more about it later okay..till then.toodles :)

New moon

I don't mind watching it over and over again
so people...sapa yg nak tgk or rasa nak tgk...
AJAK SAYA okay!!!
hahaha
*wink2 smbil buat muka tak tahu malu*

but make sure masa tu bole pki student card ya!hahaha

_____________________________________________________________________

fatso= elle

I hate myself (the body,the tummy especially) 

i mean how it looks like now...

tak pernah seumur hidup berat badan hampir mencecah 50 kg...

sgt tekanannnnn memikirkannnnn keberatan badan yg dialami

aku seolah2 org kerdil yg gemuk bila setiap kali melihat diri sendiri ke cermin

atau macm seekor (err seekor ke?) doraemon yg berambut panjang

"start diet ELLE!!!!"

perkataan ini sering terngiang2 di kepala tapi kenapa aku masih degil untuk menahan nafsu makan akuuuuu...adakah ini hanya mainan psikologi semata2??..aduh tolong la!.tak suka tgk diri sendiri

omaigooood!!

kurang keyakinan diri :( :(

nak keding macm ne :(

pretty girls,aren't they?

rmbut ohhhh

erm rmbut da pjg kan?..bole la..blum mencapai target lagi..kadg2 ada perasaan macm nak trim..tpi takot pendek..sebb dulu pernah buat pasthu minah bodoh yg potong rmbut i thu potng rmbut i smpi pendek.after form 3 I tak pernah potong rmbut smpi after PLKN,memg pjg la kan...

then,tgk2 balik gmbr2 i..wah tak sngka macm2 rmbut punya fesyen i ada..erm sama je la kot..dan untuk pengetahuan semua,I tak pernah buat REBONDING owkay!.rmbut I memg lurus semula jadi..tula i pernah nah buat kerinting tapi tak jadi sgt..hahaha

masa ne i menagis gila babi sebb rmbut jadi pendek gila..malu berhadapan dengan org...

then i potong..adala macm ne siket..yg ne lepas beberapa kali potong..maintainkan kependekan rmbut..haha

then dye,pasthu biarkan pjg

kalau i tak buat apa2 masa ne,mesti rmbut I da pjg gilaaa babiii

i kerintingkan..makin lama makin tak jadi then i hitamkan rmbut then I trim THEN I HIGHLITE THEN U GUYS MESTI DA BOSANN!!!..HAHAHA

okay tu je nak kongsi..hahahaahahah

jgn salah faaamm..

aduh..ramai org salah faam dgn post sebelumnya..i cuma bagi contoh je la yg sapu2 mop2 hu..hahahah...btw,da settle da ngan org thu..ckp lamaaaa gilaaa and suda okay!yeay!

&&

mari bergembiraaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

Teddy Geiger

satu lagi boyfriend idaman..hahaha

sekrg makin seng untuk anda tahu ciri2 sebenar lelaki idaman I kan?..hahaha

the hair (sila baca post2 sebelumnya)

pandai main gitar...

erm thu je kot..hahaha

oh,dan dan sudi buat lagu untuk I..oh,so sweet!!!..

elle,wake up la!

kepada org yg tak puas hati or mara kat sy,

tak tahu kalau kesilapan ini disengajakan atau tidak tpi selalunya tak disengajakan..sebb usually kalo saya buat silap sy akan mengaku and bgtau org thu...

tpi tatawla.maybe sebb dia da lama mara kat saya..atau tak puas hati..thu yg dia lepaskan kemarahan macm thu jak..knapa x ckp depan2?...y do u need to talk and tell the world about it  and let me notice benda thu sendiri?...tak bestla org lain tahu jugak...nak salahkan org lain yg buat tak boleh juga..dah jadi tanggungjawab saya kot tanggung semuanya...yela,org tua kan.

mungkin sy ne bukan org yg baik...sebab makin lama,makin jahat.sy sendiri notice benda thu..tpi bila bab2 mara ne usually saya simpan dalam hati or maybe tak ckp pun smpi lupa sendiri...da berusaha buat org selesa ngan saya...even tmpt tinggal or apa2 pun saya hampir hari2 bersihkan...biarpun saya bukanla sgt pembersih org nya...tpi atleast adala usaha maw mop2 ka lap2 ka...hahaha...n cakap pun selalunya terus terang..org suka tak suka thu dorg punya pasal sebb apa yg saya bgtahu thu ikhlas dari hati.wah!terlebih suda ne.wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

tak happy,

em tak happy sgt la...maknanya I sedg sedi la ne..Nervous pun ada juga...

ohhhhh what's going to happen with my lifeee..

&&

I'm about to start a new chapter of my life...starting..erm next week maybe...i don't know yet.

gotta meet new faces,have to start everything all over again...like what I did and experienced back then...urgh I hate to think about it...i mean,it took me like 2 and a half years to be what I am,to achieve what I own now and it's not that I'm letting it go but I guess because it's life so,like it or not, I still have to deal with it....lol.i heard that someone said tha GPA i s nothing,the DEGREE means everything.she's right...I am completely wiped out.devastated of my soul and identity.or maybe I'm just  over thinking about it...I've had some down times but I've always been able to see some light at the end of the tunnel.so,this might just the 'ugly' moment for me.

someone once called me a Loser just because of having no boyfriend or there are times when I want to do things alone.not to mention but,honestly I do not feel lonely or whatsoever shit you want to  assume about it.sometimes you need the time for yourself.you just  need pleasure yourself with things that make you happy no matter how crazy it sounds or how stupid it is.and guys,being Single doesn't mean you're a Loser.maybe thisis not just the right time,or maybe you haven't find the right person to be with.that's all.plus,This is a perfect opportunity to become someone you've always wanted to be.I am what I am now people.and from now on,I just want to be me.

currently listening to:Love isn't by Same Same...(Bob and Clint Moffat,remember them? please say you do.They were my ultimate crush when I was in primary school!!)

munajat cintaa

Satu2nya lagu yg I masih suka selepas putus.haha

jangan salah faham(izinkan I pki aku pula ya),

lagu ne agaknya lagi sesuai ngan situasi aku skrg ne...banding dulu..kalau dulu ntah papa je jadi lagu tema percintaan..kononla..haha...lagu yg tak pernah bosan dgr.even my parents and my adik2 pun suka lagu ne..hehe

btw,suka lagu ne pun sbb video clip dia juga..talent or model dia anak2 Ahmad Dhani iaitu Al ,El dan Dul (kumpulan the lucky laki,alah yg nyanyi lagu 'bukan superman' thu dan mereka sgt hensem2+cute2 belaka).Al cepatla besar! kakak Elfina mau kamu!!!hahahahahaha lol

p/s..hehehe..tamaw crita byk..tapi sgt suka kamu...kalau kamu baca ini..sila jangan tergelak okay.I tak pernah ckp benda ne depan kamu sebb takut kamu PERASAN or I mungkin akan rasa MALU GILA BABI kalau u baca part ini...sori I da lama tak kontek u..erm 2-3 hari thu lama ka?...sbbnya I taknak nnti i jadi terlebih suka plak..hahaha...tpi I memg suka u sgt2..the end :)

sepuluh secara random

mungkin akan jadi lebih kalau saya rajin

1.sgt suka online.smpi berjam2..contact lens tak buka2 pun bleh tahan lagi.

2.lagi suka lepak kat kedai mamak je banding lepak kat tmpt mahal2 (starbucks dan sewaktu degnnya)..sori.saya tak byk duit...

3.da 3 hari berturut2 ke Sunway Piramid.first day ngan Ismael and Shahid,second day ngan SHE third day ngan Asye.

4.suka masak tpi bila ada org yg nak makan je.macm sekrg adik i selalu ada.

5.fine fine..saya mengaku saya KUAT MAKAN.aiskrim,coklat semua saya kebas!!!...oh oh...burger juga~ :D

6.semakin tension bila perut makin membuncitttt!!!tidakkkk!!!

7.skrg ne macm tak bersyukur rambut ditakdirkan lurus..suka lagi dia serabut ..hahaha

8.semakin suka hidup single..sebb bole kawan ngan semua org..plus..boleh crush or menggatal ngan sape2..tpi I tak gatal ngan boifren org  (mcm perempuan thu.pki tudung konon..hati busuk!!) or husband org owkaaay!!..itu harus dijauhi...

9.byk cakap.dan ini memang telah disahkan oleh mereka2 yg rapat ngan I.hahaha.

10 .telah dibuktikan juga I ini seorg yg cukup DRAMATIK...sesuatu yg tak bgus atau bgus??..erm tak pastila...

11.percaya pada KARMA!!!.hahha..kaw buat jahat ngan aku takpa.kaw dpt juga balasan nnti.mbhahahahaha *ketawa jahat*

12.tataw bila bole buang rasa benci kat seseorg thu..mungkin bila da tua agaknya..oh kejamnya!

dah la..kang korg kata aku mngada2 pula nak lebih2..lol. :P

tada apa

Sedang duduk2,tiba2 rasa macm nak post something pulak kat blog ne..dan tiba2 juga la terfikir byk benda..temm..tamawla cerita pasal masala2 yg dihadapi skrg..haha(tak gembira pun).knapalaaaa???...rasa macm org yg sgt2 tak ada duit ne..haha(tak gembira pun lagi)

aish,tiba2 idea terbantut pulak karang post lgi la..hahha

new layout,again

no background this time

penat fikir nak buat macm mana.kejap2 nnti i design la something..

nak buat macm ne..yg masa project multimedia dulu..hehehe

hehe

u guys must be tired huh?

or maybe pening 

yelaa...tgk I asyik tukar layout je

atleast twice a month..hahha

apa2 pun sorry sebb i suka kasi sakit mata korg

wah!,main I sebagai ganti nama diri da skrg..up gitu :D

aku,

*bukan sekadar gmbr  hiasan

aku tak punya hidup sempurna

siapa pun atau apa pun kat dunia ne mesti tak ada yg sempurna

kita selalu harapkan sesuatu tpi selalu jugala apa yg kita harapkan thu tak menjadi

it's normal

hidup memg macm ne,kadang2 kita diatas,kadang2 kita di bawah

aku baru 20 tahun,tpi macm dah byk aku lalui 

&&  aku rasa itu masih tak cukup lagi...

dugaan demi dugaan dtg...

lebih2 lagi bila aku kat sini, jauh dari keluarga aku

bila kat sini,aku cuma ada adik aku dan kawan2 aku...sesetgh org mungkin akan kata ini adala kebebasan atau mungkin bg menyedapkan hati org ckp ini adalah berdikariaku bersyukur sebb dalam usia 18 tahun lagi aku suda belajar untuk hidup sendiri

aku ada kawan2,so tak da la sunyi sgt..aku ingat lagi dulu masa kitorg muda2(18 ke 19 thun thu kira mudala)..semua bnda nak cuba...lepak la yg paling best.pusing keliling kl tanpa arah tuju,buang masa itu ini..buat gila sekejap...sgt best!!!org lain mungkin kata benda ne sia2 tpi apa guna hidup kalau tak menikmati semua benda thu..bukan nya kita buat benda jahat...isap dadah or wahtsoever.dan aku suka macm thu...hidup macm betul2 org muda.

aku belajar cinta thu apa.dan as far as apa yg aku experience cinta thu memg best.tpi at the same time buat aku sengsara.masa aku ada bf dulu,hmpir tiap2 minggu aku nangis.aku buat apa saja untuk org yg aku syg..sggup jaln kaki,buat itu ini.beli itu ini.jadi itu ini untuk jadi macm apa yg dia suka tpi akhirnya dia dgn cibai nya layan aku macm ne...sory ayat aku keras skit..kamu bole ckp kawan je la...tpi kamu tak faam macm mana sakitnya aku...dlm byk2 bf aku pun (erm 3 thu tadala byk kan?) sorg je yg aku masih berkawan baik...masih berhubung dan siap bole dtg ruma dia lagi masa hari raya...dia memg baik...cinta pertama akuyg paling aku tak boleh lupa.yg second,sorry to say,tak bole tgk muka dia langsung.hahaha..rasa macam nak TUMBUK.okay,aku da mals jd hipokrit..hahahaa.memg aku benci dia..hahah.dia yg buat aku benci lelaki sbentar.so,aku benci dia..hahahahahahaha.okay sudala.

aku akui aku kat sini byk berubah...tpi aku masi tak lupa daratan.aku sedar aku dari mana,aku sedar aku kesini untuk apa..lagi2 untuk membanggakan kedua ibubapa aku.aku belajar betul2 biarpun aku ne bukannya pandai sgt pun.tapi atleast dorg happy kalau aku berjaya kan?.

how i miss u,

I am TOTALLY 100% POSITIVELY sure that I am in the syndrome of missing:

.Sabah

my family,my home(the weird house of mine),my room, my car and everything that I own in Sabah.I miss them.

.My girls...

Anis Audina(aku rindu kaw,pendek!),'Izzatul Nadiah(almost like a soul sister to me), Siti Sarah(kaw balik awal sgt knapa???), Nurul Yazmin (biarpun aku jumpa kaw almost tiap minggu) and Siti Nursyahira Nabila (jumpa selalu pun boleh rindu okay!hahaha)

the most important is,I miss how we used to do things together.where we had the girl's day out or girls' nite out.we shared almost everything.we might have this up side down in our friendship.No drama.no point la kan?..or maybe it was just me?..hahaha...and I'm glad that I met you girls.I learn how to appreciate people who truly care about me rather than those who didn't.I also learn that having a great friends is much more important than having a guy,I mean having a damn fucking stupid guy in your life. I learned that the hard way.YOU CAN TOSS A BOYFRIEND JUST LIKE A BALL.you know what I'm saying?.thanks for always be there for me too.anyhoo,I love all of you.

.My life as a college student

Perhaps I might be lucky once again.being a college student.having lots of assignment,lectures and attend classes are fun.hahahaha...i might regret what I said.well,I know I sound pathetic or maybe silly for some of you.but seriously,staying at home doing nothing is way pathetic,you know.

.Mid Valley,Bukit Bintang,One Utama and Ikea

Idk why *sigh*.I just wish that I could go there now.though with no money,it's okay jugala.haha

.Buy new things

Obviously because I have no money now.If only I have the kaching2 in my hand,the first thing I would buy is a cardigan or blazer ,or maybe colourful top,or maybe a skinny jeans,erm...booties maybe,sneakers,or haa yaa, a sling bag(the one that I saw at FOREVER 21)..so cool.daddy please come here so that we can buy all of these.hahaha...kuang asammm ko el.

*erm color tak menarik la pulak*

.Karaoke.

Karaoke jamban pun tak kisah sebb da sangap gila.terima kasih youtube kerana merealisasikan impian saya.PEACE!.

if ada lagi I tambah okay,buat masa ne..ini je yg terlintas d kepala otak

oh ohhhhh...im in love with these wolvesss

ohhhhh,

(ignore muka minta puji tpi tgk muka tyson saya...thanx SHE sebb buat kad thu untuk aku.syg kaw!)

Daddy,cepatla antar kereta!!!

kering suda saya di sini

:( :(

&&

I want my hair to grow longer

 and fasterrrrrlaaa!!

and kinda boring now

especially when having the same look all the time 

urghh,,

It's already November baby!!!

oh suda masuk bulan NOVEMBER rupanya!..macm sedar tak sedar je kan?..

apa2 pun arap2 bulan ne memberi byk [TUAH.KEBAIKAN.SERTA KEBAHAGIAAN] kepada aku dan semua2 yg disayangi///

apa benda best yg akan berlaku bulan ne haa?..em tak pasti la...tpi yg penting aku ingat hari2 kelahiran sahabat2 yg disayangi iaitu Izut's birthday yg bertarikhkan 14 November juga Yaz's birthday pada 24 November nnti.wah kamu juga bakal masuk 20 tahun.Tahniah bette!!.hehe.

&&

mungkin bakal juga menyambung pembelajaran dalam BACHELOR IN EDUCATION (TESL) jika tiada sebarang kesulitan yg akan dialami.wah kalau berjaya, maknanya aku dah nak jadi bdak DEGREE  la ya?.woot woot..rasa tua sebentar..hahaha

____________________________________________________________________

oh ya btw, I went to AAR last saturday and it was TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME!!!!! and I was like 1 or 2 metres away from TYSON RITTER...OMG!!!..He is so dropdead gorgeous+sexy+hot that night,I must say!!!.I took lots of video and pictures of him though only using my phone's camera. which is not in a very high quality.but who cares??haha.the only thing that was not really fun was that me and my girls were not together this time.only me and SHE went.but it was alright.!.and paling tak best sebb kitorg terpisah.me,Neyu and kawan Neyu dpt pegi depan almost near the stage but the rest tak dapt lepas sebb org ramai+ sesak gila.ne pun sebb kitorg kecik thu dapt lepas..huhu..

anyhooo....

tysonnn!!

swing swing,the wind blows,Gives you hell,I WANNA,the last song,move along wah byk sih lagu2 yg dimainkan malm itu..best bangaaatttt! <3